This article at realclearpolitics discusses the trend of self-segregation in American culture, something I actually think about a lot. The thrust of the argument is that people are inclined to live in like-minded communities along more cultural/political/social (rather than racial or ethnic) lines: environmentalists move to Portland, conservatives focused on raising kids select Dallas or Minneapolis, etc.
I’m not sure I agree with this argument completely, but I do think the instinct to gather with people similar to you is driven quite a lot by that need for the familiar. After eight years of being an American in Asia, I found that upon returning to America and trying to rejoin regular American life, I had the most in common with Asian-Americans, especially second-generation ones. In a large group of people, somehow, I’d end up discussing Indian restaurants in Singapore/balancing traditions with change/where to find X ingredient with the only Asian-American in the room. Life in Asia was what I knew, so I would instinctively find the person who knew that world as well, and who shared that experience of being both in it and distinct from it.
At the same time, I have also enjoyed reveling in the diversity of people here. It is a sharp contrast to my previous world, since people who choose to live outside their country for extended periods of their lives are a self-selecting group (for the most part), and thus have quite a lot in common. One of the things I have enjoyed most about being back in the United States is how different people truly are. Discovering the ways in which many of my new and old friends and I are quite distinct has actually been delightful after all those years of living with people who were variations of my own personality and interests (not that I don’t love you all dearly, my friends from the years abroad; I mean, you are a lot like me, so how could I not think you are wonderful?). Hmmm. I think I might have proved my own point there.
What do you think? Does our biological need for some sameness in our relationships go too far these days? Or are we striking the right balance?
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